Whine grumble wahhhh

If you do not like someone, DO NOT LEAD THEM ON TO MAKE THEM THINK YOU LIKE THEM! Not cool dude! That is all.

Ps I confessed my love for someone today. It was beautiful. Well more like, I told him I've liked him for a while. I wish things didn't fuck up for me but life just kinda likes to throw me shit bricks.


Also, I have the greatest best friend in the world. <3

I am SUCH a nice person.

I fucking hate it. Because I'm nice, I get taken advantage of and walked all over. I wish I was strong enough to say something but I'm not. I wish I didn't let you just walk right back in my life, but I did. Because I'm nice. You completely fucked me over. And for some reason, I can look past that and STILL try to find some good in you. Because I'm the kind of person that tries to see the beauty in everyone. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you, and I'm sorry that it didn't work out but this whole thing is unfair. You are unfair. You make me feel guilty consistently for things I didn't even do, and things I shouldn't even be sorry for. Stop holding me back and let me move.the.fuck.on. 

Thanks.

Ps I'm pissed and I can't figure out who's real and who's not. This always happens. I get at a high point in life, then somewhere, someone had to know that Ariel is FINALLY getting happy again and that apparently needs to stop. Fuck you world. 

Sorry for the profanity to whoever reads this. IF anyone even reads this.

Pissy.

I don't like it when people say "I heard something about you today", and you, obviously curious, ask what they heard, and then the person doesn't tell you. :/ Like, why even mention it in the first place? That's what I wanna know!

Boys.
Are.
Confusing
!

Seasons come and go, but I will never change.

I'm sort of noticing that as people get older, everything starts to change. This applies to nearly every aspect in life; school, friends, maturity, priorities in general, etc. But as of right now, the change I see the most in life is demand and relationships. Excuse my profanity, but everything is seriously just so fucked up now. Like, for example: I am in college, but still a highs school student. That alone forced me to grow up and be mature about shit. Every day I rely on myself and nobody else. And apparently, when you're in college, there's like a whole different set of rules to play by. I mean, I just got used to high school, and now I'm like doing this college thing? I feel almost out of my league. No, I AM out of my league. "Relationships"? Are they even real anymore? Going out for a coffee in between classes counts as a date? What the hell! Someone, PLEASE, inform me on the rules of college because I am so lost. Everything is so confusing. What's the difference between being "exclusive" and being in a relationship? How do you even get to the relationship part? I mean, people that I know just don't go around asking girls to be their girlfriend. I guess that's high school shit, who knows. Anyways, I just don't understand any of this and it pisses me off. 

Well, I might as well keep going as long as I'm in rant mode..

I AM SO MAD AT MY EX BOYFRIEND.

Do I have a legit reason to be? Yes. Should I even care anymore? Probably not. But I do. And it sucks ass. I mean, who does that? Who abuses their girlfriend, both verbally and physically, gets pissed for leaving for FIVE WEEKS to see her FAMILY, and then cheats on them while she is out of state? Might I add, with his best friend's ex girlfriend. He does. He does shitty things like that and it's totally not even fair because he got away with it. In the end, he got the girl, he still has his weird ass friends, and his parents don't give a shit that their son is the biggest asshole on the planet. Once again, I am in second place. Like fucking always. You know what? I'm getting tired of that bullshit to be honest. I'm always the girl who gets the shit end of the stick. If you don't know what that means, go to urbandictionary.com and I'm sure they'll clear that up for you. I'm either that, or I'm the girl that guys like to be friends with. I'm the awesome chick that will sit around and play video games with you and listen to Wiz while you talk shit about your girlfriend. That's me. Number two.

I'm getting upset now. Damnit. Maybe this blog wasn't such a good idea. 

First time.

I’m fairly pissed off at the world.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong.

Sometimes nothing seems right or fair.

Sometimes I don’t understand anything of what’s going on.

How much longer is this going to go on?

How much more can I take?

Lately, this fucking cloud just follows me around.

I can see now that all of these clouds are following me in my desperate endeavor, to find my whoever, whoever he may be.

But it’s been different since you came along.

You make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world.

You make me smile like the sun.

And maybe, just maybe,

You’re the guy I’ve been looking for.

All the signs are right.

I am attracted to you.

But, how do I know if you feel the same to me?

How do I know that you’ll treat me right, and love me for who I am and what I’m not?

I can only hope to god he’s being r e a l with me.

I wish things were easy.

But you know what that saying is…

“Life is a bitch. If it were a slut, it’d be too damn easy.”

The end.